Weathering

LMV 35 (1)

There is a quiet process that occupies her mind. It foments an insurrection. No matter how the forces ‘gainst it push, it bends and strengthens in the heat of misfortune and capitalizes on spirited emotion. That tiny instinct, a cancer of its own design, invades everything she does. You can thrash her down with bad news, but it will rise up and push her to find a light. It never dims. It flickers at times, but it never fades.

The recent news hit Jordan hard, but it hasn’t quieted her resolve. She missed school today. She stayed in bed, sleeping off a bad headache. She hated the morning and got off to a slow start. But by the time I returned home, she was perky. She cheered the Lakers and looked forward to a chapter from a book. The hug she gave me made me stop my pathetic moping. She made me feel almost as strong as she when she grabbed my hand and said, “you are so warm. I missed you, Dad.”

It doesn’t matter what is done by the other insurgent force that occupies her head. Her will is stronger. And for the moment, she has decided she’d rather be herself. I love that. I wish I could summon it as easily.