We talked to the orthopedic surgeon today. And, Jordan will need surgery. Two surgeries. They want to move tendons, sculpt muscle and chip bone–on each foot. It sounds dreadful. She wants to have the feet done at the same time, but the surgeon advised against it. He told her she would be in a cast for a month and not able to stand on her foot. She said that was okay.

She rubs the underside of her fingers across the top of her hand. Her hands are in constant motion. They move nervously around themselves, tapping and scratching, grasping it seems for comforting reassurance. Her eyes are drawn off and focused elsewhere in the room. She is unaware of her fidgeting fingers. Her nervous energy transfers to a quest for food. She plunders the pantry and browses the contents of the refrigerator.

Jordan set off for Portland, Oregon today … by herself. This is the long-awaited trip. The one she’s been pining about for months. The one that weather forestalled in December. And she couldn’t have been more excited.

She just called me from my sister Lisa’s house, a buoyant descant in her voice. She had a full day and she wanted to share all of it with me.

Portrait in Sun Dress B&W When I drag myself out of bed, she’s sitting in the living room, legs crossed, waiting. It’s a slow start for me today. I rarely sleep past 7am. It’s 8:30. I’ve showered and dressed myself, but I’m stumbling along half asleep. And, there she is. She looks annoyed. – Dad, you’re supposed to get up early. Don’t you know how long I’ve been waiting for you?

Jordan enjoyed Spring Break this week. Frankly, I think she had too much time on her hands, but it didn’t stop her from lamenting about Spring Break coming to an end. But she was particularly sweet on Tuesday – my birthday. She took my picture to put on a card for Sprout Online. They have a contest for birthdays. I posed patiently. – Dad, smile more. Look excited. I widened my grin and tried to look excited.